~JASPERSAYS:

~JAsperSays 1 [81719]:

It’s so hot, the Devil checked if his thermostat was working!

~JAsperSays 1 [81719]:

In my day it was any excuse for a parade. Today it’s any excuse for a protest!

~JAsperSays 1 [82119]:

Will the Congress have to build a new prison to hold all the corrupt politicians?

~JAsperSays 1 [82219]:

Dawn said that I “Look like a sandwich!  Two pieces of stale bread with balcony in-between!”

~JAsperSays 2 [82219]:

To the tune of “Petticoat Junction”‘

There’s a little hotel called the Demo’s Rest at the Congress.

It is run by The Squad, come and be their guest at the Congress

And that’s Uncle Joe, he’s a movin’ kind of slow at the Congress,

Democrat’s Congress!

~JAsperSays 1 [82319]:

Advice for a long marriage: Your most used words must be :Please&Thank you! 

Sex is fleeting, arguing brings hurt. Why teach your child to say please & thank you. Show them! And it becomes a habit for life.

~JAsperSays 1 [82319]

Jasper’s the original Cookie Monster. He claims donuts are just pregnant cookies.

~JAsperSays 1 [82719]

Joe Biden is qualified to be President! 

He s decades qualified, clean and neat.

~JAsperSays 1 [90619]

I’m such a nurd that even when I microwave my Orville Redenbacher’s goes Putth-h-h !

~JAsperSays 1 [90919]

How can the weatherman can say, ” it will start to cool down this weekend,” and then say, ” It will be HOT this weekend.” I know, “cooler” That means not hot enough to melt steel.

~JAsperSays 2 [90919]

Democrats favorite word is fund. That’s because it is ¾ FUN!

~JAsperSays 3 [90919]

“Millions for defense, not a penny for tribute.” 1798

Sound familiar? Think of Iran and $150 billion.  

~JAsperSays 1 [91219]

Jasper says he’s a men’s fashion expert. He advises that men make sure all their labels in the back!

~JAsperSays 1 [91319]

I’m glad I don’t have a gun! I’m shaking so much my socks are soaking wet with sweat. Oh! I was outside in the heat.

~JAsperSays 1 [91419]

Darling, We didn’t throw you under the bus. You jumped from the window!

~JAsperSays 1 [91819]

The dentist said I have such a small mouth—for such big words.

Or did he say that I had such a big mouth—for such small words.

~JAsperSays 2 [91819]

My online account. at the bank is so secure, even I can’t get in!

~JAsperSays 1 [91919]

In the name of fun, I attended a costume party at which I attended as The Lone Ranger. It wasn’t long after I arrived that a man dressed in a police uniform apologized to his host, That I was wearing a mask and I am offended that I had to support such lawlessness. It wasn’t long before that Marie Antoinette left because I was advocating gun ownership. Next came a bum asking why Tonto wasn’t represented beside me as part of his indian heritage. 

Well, It wasn’t long before the party dwindled to a couple of drunks and a homeless fellow looking for a restroom. All I wanted was to have a little fun dancing. Why can’t more of us have a little more entertainment and less correctness in or existence?

~JAsperSays 1 [92219]

Advice to the younger: Even the upsides have their downs.

~JAsperSays 2 [92219]

I am planning a boycott of the film, Watermelon Man –Godfrey Cambridge. He appeared in whiteface. How dare he try the be something he is not. As a white, I am deeply offended.

~JAsperSays 3 [92219]

In the 1948 movie, State of the Union, Adolphe Menjou said  (paraphrased) , “The people don’t elect a president. The politicians do because the people are too lazy to vote in the primaries.”

~JAsperSays 1 [92619]

The uneducated meaning of Quid pro quo: 

I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.

~JAsperSays: 1 [92719]

Cleopatra is purported to say, “I’m a queen, not because I’m so smart, but because the people are so stupid.”

She must have been a Democrat!

~JasperSays: 1 [92819]

“Lets go and get you a good liar!, ER, lawyer” —- Comedian Leo Gorcey

~JasperSays: 1 [92919]

Greg Gutfeld is not so funny without animals to prop him up.

**********************************************************************

Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

 

I’ve changed my mind. I believed that abortion (trimester), was a woman’s, her doctor’s, and her deity would eventually decide the issue. Despite other arguments, after decades believing that also, I changed my mind. It had to do with her relationship with her god. 

I feel that she will be judged by a higher entity. But I will be scrutinized too if I do not, at lest, express my thoughts.

~JASPERSAY’S:

Aside

 

A large section of citizenry has insurance against government shutdown. As a matter off fact, when more and more civil servants miss a paycheck, these savors have more money to keep the economy moving. They are called lawyers.

HI-HO

I just finished watching an ancient John Wayne movie. A western of course.  I wouldn’t be writing this except for one thing that made the movie worthwhile, the horse!

The American’s have a long history with the horse, more so than any other civilization.  Conquistadors brought the horse to Latin America as a pack animal and found them suited more for riding long distances. Plains Indians, cowboys, and farmers to the military used the horse.

Now we come to the movie star horse: Trigger, Champion, and just plain fancy dressed, silver laden leather clad horses.

In this post silent picture, Wayne’s horse was almost human. As a matter of fact, John told his sidekick to send the horse to get help. The horse must have read   a map!  Then after running at full gallop for several miles he tossed his head at the waiting good guys as if saying, “Follow me!” and led them the same miles at full gallop again. All turned out well! It was in the script.

We never see the white steed again (in this movie). But I can imagine that Wayne offered him an extra ration of oats after shooting was over. (And I mean shooting.) I can also imaging the horse pointing it’s hoof at the contract ’s small print guaranteeing sweet hay too.

FALLS LEFTOVERS

The shades and shadows of October seemed to be reaching out: enticing me, inviting me to rest in their arms. Even the building next door stamped the ground with abandoned hope. I was lost and could only see the trees, standing guard despite their naked bowers.

I climbed the coal ashes: two ruts led me straight and true, building on one side and a giant spray of wooden whips on the other that were yellow blooms not long ago.   Leading me to the open field of grass and familiar landmarks popped from the ground: a picnic table now abandoned, last summers toy that I never found until I was uninterested, the gnarled pear tree calling to be climbed.

And then I saw her! Her hands up, pinning flapping sheets to a shinny metal clothesline. A cooling gust promising winter would bring an early snow. 

“Mommy.” I called, running as fast as my corduroy legs would churn. She turned, her lined face peaked beneath the bandanna hiding her locks. An oversized CPO kept her warm while allowing her chores to be unimpeded. She dropped to one knee. strong arms catching me, gentle arms entrapping me.

“Yes dear?”

“Mommy, I’m hungry.”

“You know, I think I’ve got something in the house.”, and she took my hand. “I baked pies and had crust left over to make a cinnamon roll.” 

And I ran for the backdoor pulling her as hard as I could.

From My Donut!

This is the note I left on my door for the house cleaner the day after Christmas.

 

Dear YoYo and HoHo,

 

Instructions follow—

 

Back door unlocked. The robbers have already been here. Help yourselves to Eve dinner leftovers. Beware of diabetes!

Sweep ALL floors, especially around fireplace! I fell in trying to get the fire started. Ambulance said I just had first degree burns and to let my butt hand out a couple of days. A fire started by present wrappings. Dust mantle especially. (Damper was closed.) Can you clean the spot on the ceiling?

Careful on steps! I was trying to put the bowling ball I got from uncle Jasper and dropped it on the top step and it bounced clear out the front door. Three treads could collapse. Insurance will not pay for neighbor across the street front door.

Take the tree, decorations and all, to the curb for the trash pickup. I was trying to turn off the one stubborn red light on the tree and it was Jasper’s red nose. He’s O.K.! The tree never stood again.

No need to walk the dog. Use extra Lysol at the back door. I hope you watched your step on the way in.

The junk pile under the table is the toys already broken when I stepped on them!

Same time next year?

 

Merry Christmas and happy New Year! Will send you check when the Government opens it’s doors again!